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Les tenues du blog But it can't be from Dolly Clackett. She gave me an Easter egg!

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03/08/2014
Look, if you're gonna...

Look, if you're gonna have some sort of rap, just be careful that you don't do a drive-by.
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27/07/2014
Richard Nixon? I...

Richard Nixon? I can't believe I'm dead. There was so still so much left on my bucket list. So many different kinds of buckets I wanted to own. Buckets.
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24/07/2014
Stop eating people's...

Stop eating people's old french fries, pigeon! Have some self respect! Don't you know you can fly?!
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17/07/2014
Who 'grabs' a coffee?...

Who 'grabs' a coffee? Unbelievable. He thinks he's on ER.
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14/07/2014
I found Aliens scary...

I found Aliens scary too. That Sigourney Weaver is a sweet girl but she really shouldn't go without makeup.
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10/07/2014
Or can we agree that...

Or can we agree that we're all just monkeys with suitcases trying to seem like people?
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04/07/2014
Until mankind is...

Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there's no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value.
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01/07/2014
Well, I was born Mary...

Well, I was born Mary Patterson, but then I married and naturally I took my husband's name. So now I'm Neil Patterson.
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26/06/2014
Would it be bad to...

Would it be bad to have a Martini with my muscle relaxant, or bad in a good way? Introducing Capital Chic Patterns
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24/06/2014
Question 17 was the...

Question 17 was the three part question. The answers were Blue Peter, Wheel of Fortune and This Morning.
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20/06/2014
Well, you were right...

Well, you were right about one thing. It definitely wasn't Bigfoot.
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16/06/2014
One rage every three...

One rage every three months is permitted. Try not to hurt anyone who doesn't deserve it.
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27/05/2014
If you walk briskly...

If you walk briskly in a pilot's uniform, you can go pretty much anywhere. I've been upstairs at the White House while the Obamas were sleeping
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20/05/2014
Who are the Allens...

Who are the Allens and why are they out of spice?
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14/05/2014
Truth be told, all I...

Truth be told, all I want to do is go out, get shitfaced and have a curry and a fight down Caroline Street.
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08/05/2014
Look, we can dance...

Look, we can dance all day but it's time to step up. Are you going to buy 4000 rubber nipples from me, or not?
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05/05/2014
Great job, everyone....

Great job, everyone. The reception will be held in each of our individual houses, alone.
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01/05/2014
Tell me. What is it...

Tell me. What is it like to stare into the eye of Satan's butthole?
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27/04/2014
I understand what...

I understand what Becky sees in you. You look like that Fonzie fellow who's so popular these days.
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22/04/2014
I'm just like any...

I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. I just wish I had more time to seek out the dark forces and join their hellish crusade.
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18/04/2014
This is my costume....

This is my costume. I'm a homicidal maniac. They look like everybody else.
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11/04/2014
You can't say your...

You can't say your favorite kind of cake is birthday cake, that's like saying your favorite kind of cereal is breakfast cereal.
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04/04/2014
I once worked with a...

I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.
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27/03/2014
The Exhausted Ruler...

The Exhausted Ruler said if you took an oath it would have to be broken for generations of centuries of hundreds of years.
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20/03/2014
Any dog under 50...

Any dog under 50 pounds is a cat, and cats are pointless.
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13/03/2014
A homeless man showed...

A homeless man showed me his dick on the way here. It doesn't get any realer than that.
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07/03/2014
She's really into all...

She's really into all the police lingo. Whenever I go over there, she's always eyeballing a mug shot, grilling a dirtbag or frisking a biscuit.
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02/03/2014
Those flowers were...

Those flowers were supposed to say "We love you, we're so sorry" not "You're dead. Let's disco."
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27/02/2014
Why would that cheer...

Why would that cheer her up? Does she look like a 22 year-old frat boy?
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24/02/2014
Your landlord called....

Your landlord called. He says it's not the toilet, it's you.
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20/02/2014
If you don't like it,...

If you don't like it, you can leave. This isn't Eric Roberts' teepee.
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15/02/2014
I didn't know what to...

I didn't know what to bring you so I just got some magazines and lipsticks. Women stuff.
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14/02/2014
A happy Anna Howard...

A happy Anna Howard Shaw day to us all!
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10/02/2014
But... wait. How......

But... wait. How... Where else could you put the Northern Hemisphere but on the top?
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05/02/2014
I'll never do better...

I'll never do better than you. You're a cook in the bedroom and a whore in the kitchen.
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04/02/2014
I'm a star, I'm on...

I'm a star, I'm on top, SOMEBODY BRING ME SOME HAM!
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27/01/2014
She had too much...

She had too much champagne and a monkey knocked her into some quicksand. It could happen to anyone!
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21/01/2014
In the small event...

In the small event that occurs, just crumple two pieces of aluminum foil and stuff them in your undershorts. It defeats their sensor rays.
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15/01/2014
I look like the...

I look like the mother of a solid gold dancer.
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08/01/2014
The only other woman...

The only other woman who could understand what I've been though is Priscilla Presley.
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01/01/2014
TAKE THIS LUMP OF...

TAKE THIS LUMP OF SUGAR BABY YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.
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27/12/2013
I want to eat shrimp...

I want to eat shrimp off an old gay dressed as Baby New Year
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24/12/2013
Weird in a good way....

Weird in a good way. Like going to the gym drunk.
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22/12/2013
Dogs are better than...

Dogs are better than human beings because they know but do not tell.
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16/12/2013
Shorts over six...

Shorts over six inches are capri pants; shorts under six inches are European
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13/12/2013
You're swearing now...

You're swearing now that some day you will destroy me. Remember, women far better than you have sworn to do the same. Go and look for them now.
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09/12/2013
Me, I have simple...

Me, I have simple tastes. I like to kill my enemy, take their gold and enjoy their women.
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06/12/2013
Apropos...it's Latin....

Apropos...it's Latin. You got to have a basic grasp of Latin if you're working in...Curry's.
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