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Les tenues du blog But it can't be from Dolly Clackett. She gave me an Easter egg!

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02/12/2013
If I want to lick a...

If I want to lick a hippy I'll just return Joan Baez's phone calls
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27/11/2013
Ha ha ha ha ha....

Ha ha ha ha ha. You've got to laugh when you fall off a sofa! Ruddy Sofa!
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23/11/2013
Yeeees! It's the...

Yeeees! It's the Bucket Mouse! Thanks for calling!
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17/11/2013
Why are my arms so...

Why are my arms so weak? It's like I did that push-up last year for nothing!
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10/11/2013
I can talk to...

I can talk to animals! Well, not talk to them. I can take commands from them.
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06/11/2013
Oh no, it wouldn't be...

Oh no, it wouldn't be on any maps. We're not exactly New York.
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30/10/2013
I figured, people...

I figured, people have a right to their hobbies, and I have a right to find those people creepy.
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27/10/2013
Bludge. It's quite...

Bludge. It's quite good, actually. You don't even have to drink it. You just rub it on your hips and it eats right through to your liver.
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20/10/2013
I'm a steak and baked...

I'm a steak and baked spud man myself, but Mrs Lewis likes to live on the culinary edge.
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17/10/2013
If there is nothing...

If there is nothing wrong with me, maybe there is something wrong with the universe!
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14/10/2013
We've tried to study...

We've tried to study him, of course, but he's much too sophisticated for the standard tests.
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09/10/2013
Nice legs. For a...

Nice legs. For a human.
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06/10/2013
I didn't know they...

I didn't know they made champagne in New Jersey.
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02/10/2013
Heaven is a place...

Heaven is a place where nothing ever happens.
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28/09/2013
It's like I'm not...

It's like I'm not even camping. This is actually a dog couch, but it's super comfortable.
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20/09/2013
Don't shoot until you...

Don't shoot until you see the green of its tentacles.
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15/09/2013
Not even Crowded...

Not even Crowded House gets a 90-10 split. It's unheard of!
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09/09/2013
If anyone ever gives...

If anyone ever gives you ten thousand to one on anything, you take it. If John Mellencamp ever wins an Oscar, I am going to be a very rich dude.
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03/09/2013
Oh god, yeah. Jack's...

Oh god, yeah. Jack's good, but if anything happened to Nick we'd be up to our necks in flip.
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28/08/2013
Sorry, Ted. I was...

Sorry, Ted. I was concentrating too hard on looking holy.
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25/08/2013
Oh god, Ted. We had...

Oh god, Ted. We had to strip her of her title. We found out she'd been in a film called 'Stallion Farm'
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21/08/2013
You made the same...

You made the same mistake that Mickey Rourke made on that catamaran. You didn't kill me when you had the chance.
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19/08/2013
My father says...

My father says there's only one perfect view, and that's the view of the sky over our heads.
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17/08/2013
Doris Day could never...

Doris Day could never make me cheer up quite the way those French girls always could.
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13/08/2013
No round envelopes...

No round envelopes for me! No way, Hose.
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04/08/2013
Erectile dysfunction....

Erectile dysfunction. It's not just a dog problem any more.
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31/07/2013
Fundamentally, people...

Fundamentally, people are suckers for the truth. And the truth is on your side, Bubba.
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27/07/2013
When people get a...

When people get a little too chummy with me, I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don't really care about them.
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24/07/2013
Your boos are not...

Your boos are not scaring me. I know most of you are not ghosts.
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22/07/2013
Dan's a fantastic...

Dan's a fantastic man. I was talking to him earlier and he asked what kind of phone I had. I said a Motorola Timeport and he said "that's saaaaaad, you want to upgrade!" I said so do you, to a new fac
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19/07/2013
Business drunk is...

Business drunk is like rich drunk. Either way, it's legal to drive.
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17/07/2013
Well, I only wear...

Well, I only wear designer labels. These are Jamie Foxx for Assfarm.
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14/07/2013
Not my words, Carol....

Not my words, Carol. The words of Top Gear Magazine.
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08/07/2013
Jet from Gladiators...

Jet from Gladiators to host a barn dance at Yeovil Aerodrome. Properly policed. It must not, I repeat NOT, turn into an all-night rave.
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28/06/2013
I thought you had...

I thought you had your leave, Lewis. You're always on leave!
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26/06/2013
It's David Niven,...

It's David Niven, it's Stewart Granger, it's Nigel Havers. It's a green blazer.
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21/06/2013
Ah, your Auntie...

Ah, your Auntie Elsie, Brenda. Is she still a cleaner down the brewery?
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18/06/2013
The last time I knew...

The last time I knew you, Brenda, you were living above your dad's chip shop, near the glue factory.
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16/06/2013
This isn't South...

This isn't South Belfast, Ma'am. This could all kick off.
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05/06/2013
Aye, ye cannae beat a...

Aye, ye cannae beat a cooked breakfast, man!
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02/06/2013
Eh, no. I am NOT...

Eh, no. I am NOT dancing to 'You Can Leave Your Hat On'
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28/05/2013
I know I'd like to...

I know I'd like to beat you senseless with a head of cabbage, I know that for damn sure.
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25/05/2013
I remember the first...

I remember the first time I ate a live taspar. I was six years old and living on the streets of Lakat.
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24/05/2013
We're no longer...

We're no longer called Sonic Death Monkey. We're on the verge of becoming Kathleen Turner Overdrive.
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