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Les tenues du blog But it can't be from Dolly Clackett. She gave me an Easter egg!

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18/08/2022
They say every day's...

They say every day's a gift, but why does it have to be a pair of socks?
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15/06/2022
Well, it was Friday...

Well, it was Friday night last week. It'll be Friday night next week and every week until we're dead. And even then, the whole rotten business will go on and on and on.
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31/03/2022
Don’t play mind...

Don’t play mind checkers with me, man. I’m not in the mood.
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19/01/2022
There’s more to...

There’s more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
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01/12/2021
But the truth is, I'm...

But the truth is, I'm not going to get wine of any temperature in prison. There are no fine wines in prison.
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13/10/2021
You know I always...

You know I always wanted to pretend that I was an architect.
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09/08/2021
You know, we're...

You know, we're living in a society! We're supposed to act in a civilised way!
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09/07/2021
I didn’t go...

I didn’t go missing, David. The FBI knew where I was the entire time!
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20/09/2018
You’ve seen them,...

You’ve seen them, the rappers, the rap singers. They’re on the on a lot of the adverts now. It might be a sausage, or some wool or something, and there’ll be a rap about it, about how good the s
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28/08/2018
Frederick, I have an...

Frederick, I have an important question. Why do humans not like me, call me 'Craphead'?
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03/08/2018
Police work wouldn't...

Police work wouldn't be possible without coffee. No work would be possible without coffee.
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11/07/2018
You are strong, you...

You are strong, you are a Kelly Clarkson song, you've got this!
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26/06/2018
Do you know where I...

Do you know where I might find a Detective Chief Inspector... looks like "Mouse"?
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11/06/2018
And you know, all of...

And you know, all of my clothes double as pyjamas.
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18/01/2018
The password is...

The password is "CATCH YOURSELF ON"
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28/11/2017
Months of delicate...

Months of delicate hard work and now look at it, you ham-fisted bun vendor!
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06/11/2017
It's Ireland's...

It's Ireland's largest lingerie section, I understand. I read that... somewhere.
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09/10/2017
I find the mystery...

I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.
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19/09/2017
"Are you single and...

"Are you single and looking for love?" No, I'm married and looking for cake.
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15/09/2017
Culture, mate. That's...

Culture, mate. That's where the hope of the world lies. And a more cultural mob than us you wouldn't find outside of the Chelsea Embankment.
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01/09/2017
The sea was angry...

The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send soup back in a deli.
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19/07/2017
July 19th. On this...

July 19th. On this day, Galway liberated from Indians, Marathon becomes Snickers and... ah ha, Ted! Ice Age ends!
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04/07/2017
Idea for a programme...

Idea for a programme entitled 'Yachting Mishaps'. Some funny, some tragic.
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21/06/2017
She'll be a summer...

She'll be a summer girl. She'll have hair. She'll have summer friends who know how to be outside. She'll play tennis and wear dresses and have bare feet, and in the autumn I'll ditch her because she's
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25/05/2017
If I'm going to be...

If I'm going to be white, don't make me be Irish. That's the worst one.
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11/05/2017
It's a salad, only...

It's a salad, only bigger, with lots of stuff in it.
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13/04/2017
I like my coffee like...

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup.
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15/03/2017
I'm clown realness.

I'm clown realness.
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14/02/2017
I’m pretty and...

I’m pretty and tough, like a diamond. Or beef jerky in a ball gown.
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24/01/2017
I don't think I've...

I don't think I've ever been to an appointment in my life where I wanted the other guy to show up.
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04/01/2017
I'm agorophobic. I...

I'm agorophobic. I can't even watch Groundforce.
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23/12/2016
Some of the happiest...

Some of the happiest moments of my life have been at Waitrose. I was recently asked where I would like my ashes to be scattered. I couldn't think of anywhere other than Waitrose.
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14/11/2016
It doesn't have any...

It doesn't have any eyebrows except on Saturdays and when it yawns it sounds like Liam Neeson chasing a load of hens around inside a barrel.
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01/11/2016
Brr. It sure is cold...

Brr. It sure is cold in here. I wish some strong, chivalrous man would lend me his jacket...or pants.
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27/10/2016
The point is, when...

The point is, when you eat at Hank's, YOU and YOUR FOOD are going on an adventure!
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12/10/2016
I was sobbing at a...

I was sobbing at a pizza buffet, and they asked me to leave.
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05/10/2016
I wasn’t flirting...

I wasn’t flirting with her. I didn’t even mention that I work in propane!
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26/09/2016
My name is Mr Big...I...

My name is Mr Big...I tell you what.
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18/09/2016
Lemon, you look...

Lemon, you look terrible, and I once watched you eat oysters while you had a cold.
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25/08/2016
I have cried twice in...

I have cried twice in my life. Once, when I was seven and hit by a school bus and then again, when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.
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21/08/2016
I really only listen...

I really only listen to German Death Reggae and Halloween sound effects records from the 1950s.
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03/08/2016
Kids! They're as bad...

Kids! They're as bad as Special Branch. You never know what the blighters are up to.
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25/07/2016
It was a topless...

It was a topless woman on a tractor. Do you know what they call that in Europe? A cereal commercial!
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14/07/2016
I wonder what time it...

I wonder what time it is in Cork.
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07/07/2016
I am sometimes bored...

I am sometimes bored by people, but never by life.
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02/07/2016
Ooh, it's funny that,...

Ooh, it's funny that, isn't it? Him liking red sauce and you not liking red sauce, and yet you get on so well.
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29/06/2016
It happened on a...

It happened on a Sunday afternoon; on a lovely bright crisp winter's afternoon; on a perfect day for walking.
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23/06/2016
If Shakespeare had...

If Shakespeare had written Taken, it’d be four hours long and be mainly Liam Neeson fretting and pacing and talking to bones. That’s the basic difference between Hamlet and Taken: Liam Neeson make
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